Dear DK,
Today is the last day to donate to Team Darklip Service.
If you saw Daniel Morel’s note from earlier today you may have noticed that we are 3rd within the network and more than halfway to matching team WundermEn in overall funds. So today we are going to try push to get our team past the 5k mark and if we do reach that magic number our own Darren Redel has agreed to shave off his signature goatee. So lets band together solicit our networks and make Darren's face a little colder this December.

Donate to the Team Here
http://mobro.co/stewartc

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The Filthy Punts are thrilled!

All of our nagging paid off. The “Kickball...OF THE DAMNED” Halloween charity event raised a whopping $900 to help support the Garfield Park Conservatory.

We couldn’t have done this without strong support from the DK crew. So, a big thank you to everyone who came out to the game, tossed cash Mary’s way, and submitted donations online. You’re awesome. And you’re probably feeling pretty good about yourself right now.

We hope that our efforts can help provide important support to the Conservatory’s rebuilding process. Or at least purchase a pane of glass or two.  

Go sports!

Oh, and keep an eye out for our recap of last week’s game. Halloween fun was had by all. (Don’t worry, this is the last one.)

-not cat s (she had nothing to do with this)

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Is the day, when dark lip service begins it’s hairy supremacy over this office.
Let no conference room be without the creepy presence of Mustached Men.

JOIN US... https://www.movember.com/us/register/details/team_id/260854

-                     

-          Chris S

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We weren’t lying when we told you that we’re hosting a Halloween-themed charity event. And we’ve lied to you about a ton of stuff.

Tomorrow, “Kickball...OF THE DAMNED” is kicking off in full Halloween style to support Garfield Park Conservatory. There will be Filthy Punts in costume, apple cider and foodstuffs for a suggested donation, and frightening displays of DK unathleticism.

Game starts at 6:30 at Churchill Park. If you can’t join us then, head over to Nick’s Beergarden (yikes) afterward. Our cyber bully has offered to donate $5 for every Filthy Punt that shows. We’re looking forward to making her put her money where her tweets are.

And, hey! We’re still accepting online donations and in-house donations over at Mary’s desk. A big “GO SPORTS” to everyone who has contributed. We appreciate you.

http://kickballofthedamned.bbnow.org/

Poster designed by Brandon Oxendine  

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That’s Right kids.

Our good friend Sgt Floyd Pepper is back and it’s Mustache season, time again for the lip ticklers to come out and for this office to get a little more creepy. So here’s the deal starting November 1 come in clean faced or trim that beard down to a lip broom and keep it going and growing the whole month. Then simply sign up for the DK Movember team, activate your network of mustache fans and start collecting donations to fight men’s cancer. And Ladies you can show your love for the moustache too by joining the team and donating to the cause.

So lets bust out those cookie dusters and let’s show Kyle and everyone else how DK grows a moustache.

JOIN UP!
https://www.movember.com/us/register/details/team_id/260854

-          Chris S

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We finally went a Thursday without having to embarrass ourselves on the field. So in true Punt fashion we decided to embarrass ourselves off the field. The usual pre-game party at Aberdeen turned into a rather drunk game-postponed victory party. People still fell, Shawn still screamed, Cowen coached our eating, and we all swore at any passerby out of respect for Cat. All in all it was very similar to playing... just fewer balls were kicked.

Good job Punts, you worked hard for this victory.

Oh, and we didn’t go to Nick’s. Next week though. We swear we might consider going next week.

P.S. Only 4 people signed up. We know it was raining and all but, really? REALLY? We get it, we’re the non-conformist kickball team... We can’t kick. We can’t throw. We can’t run. But can’t we all care... just a little? For the children.

Next game is Thursday 10/20 against You My Boy Blue, 7:15 p.m. at Eckhart Park.

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Lacking skill and ambition, the Filthy Punts failed to deliver yet again. And as the season drags on, we’ve progressively gotten worse... or as we like to say, “careless and emotionally removed.”

Even though we still lack a W, there have been some notable developments in game strategy. Namely, trickery. Clearly our athletic skills are not superior, but we’ve discovered that in this league our brains are. This was realized when, in a stroke of genius, Adam started pitching painfully slow. Apparently the Achilles’ heel of every “real” kickball team is a ball traveling not so slow as to go unnoticed, but not so fast as to be a real threat. It threw everyone off and there were a lot of strikeouts and pop flies.

Then, Patrick decided to give them the ol’ Filthy Punts switch-a-roo. He asked Jessica to line up at home plate, but instead had Shawn come screaming out of nowhere and blast the ball right in their faces. This tactic resulted in a whopping 3 runs. And even though they already had 8, it felt good to know we could get by with shameless cheating.

After our defeat we gathered in the traditional Filthy Punts huddle, sang the Filthy Punts chant (have you heard it?), and had a serious discussion about which bar we should meet at. As you may have heard, tensions are high about the Filthy Punts not showing up at Nick’s Beergarden. Some teams say we’re snobs with impeccably designed t-shirts. Others think we’re antisocial nerds. It’s all true, but the drama has spread to the Filthy Punts’ Twitter account. YES, TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/FilthyPunts

So even though none of us really want to, we’re going to bite the bullet (and maybe some opponents) and head over to Nick’s after this week’s game. Won’t you join and help us teach those cyber-bullies a few lessons in proper social media etiquette?

Next game is this Thursday against Turbo Dogs, 6:30 p.m. at Eckhart Park.

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Jessica was devastated. Jeremy wept openly.

Yet, in true Filthy Punts form, the game went on! Sort of. The Friendship Factory (true to name) offered beers and a chance to kick the ol’ ball around just for fun. Apparently it’s called “scrimmaging.” So really, in the end, we were all winners…except we weren’t. Because we forfeit. Hey, it’s fine! Forfeiting does not equate to true failure. It equates to irresponsibility and laziness. And we’re cool with that. Just look at us.

A big “go sports!” to Stuart and Shawn for taking one for the team and reffing the following game. Next time you’ll learn to leave the field faster. And, drama alert: we totally got called-out on never attending the league’s traditional post-game shindig. Oh well, Filthy Punts. At least we fueled the gossip flame by ditching out on the mid-season party, too!

The next public display of incompetence is this week against Pitch Please!, 7:15 p.m. at Churchill Park. We’d <3 to see you.

Now in the words of our illustrious leader Matt Cowen, “Game’s over. Let’s get drunk.” Very inspiring, and possibly indicative of a problem...

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Yes, this recap is late. It has taken us this long to recover from the shock. Nay, the HUMILIATION of last week. It started off so promising, too. But alas, Filthy Punts’ second game of the season resulted in the second loss of the season. We’re trending.

A dirge...

The night was filled with glee and cheer
As we went to Aberdeen to drink some beer
Our numbers were small but our spirits high
As we laughed and joked – CBR surely would die.

At the park we readied and lined up one by one
The Seans intimidating others as they shotgun
With a WHIZ and a BANG the pitches flew by
It made Regan fall over, no one knows why.

In the 3rd came Shawn and we got a kick
But he got too excited and ran too quick
Nearing 1st we yelled “stop!,” but he charged on
When he fell in the outfield we knew they had won.

At Churchill Park, you can still hear, they say
Faint crying and cursing from that fateful day
Even though it was a slaughter and punters did die
It was worth hearing Manion finally confirm… he IS a frat guy.

Better luck next week when we take on The Friendship Factory at Churchill Park on Thursday, 6:30 p.m. sharp. See you there?

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Re: paul revere

Subject: RE: paul revere

I’m more for “Hugging Panda’s makes Dave Happy meme,” personally

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Subject: Re: paul revere

Can we start our own ‘Sad Don Draper’ meme?

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On 9/23/11 2:03 PM,  wrote:

Subject: RE: paul revere

Come on now

Subject: paul revere

               “The trash bags are coming, the trash bags are coming!”

 

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Last Thursday, we the Filthy Punts, Designkitchen’s premiere kickball team, played our first game for the WAKA kickball league against Bender Rehab at Chicago’s Eckhart Park.

Naturally, we wo — we lost. But it was a brilliant performance considering we clocked in zero practice time, are largely unathletic and spent the preceding two hours imbibing at Aberdeen Tap.

The loss could have been anyone’s fault. But let’s point fingers. Rachel Zinaman’s vulgar smack talk got us off on the wrong foot — who knew she was so ferocious. Her fiancé’s polite pitching skills didn’t help either. Come on Adam, this is a competition! Give ‘em the heater! Also there was a lot of rain, mud and vodka-soaked gummy worms, courtesy of Barbara Luciani — but half of college sports are fueled by the same, so we’ll keep blaming Rachel and Adam.

A few officially unofficial awards…

Jeremy Mlodik wins the Fastest Punter Award. His secret: unnecessarily skinny jeans. (Honestly, the kid can hardly breathe, but lube him up with some PBR and he runs like the wind. A thin, blue, denim wind.)

Brandon Oxendine wins Most Unnecessary Display of Athleticism Award. We’ll spare the details. Suffice it to say there was mud everywhere. Everywhere. We appreciate the effort Brandon, but relax. We need all the designers we can get.

Patrick McDonald wins Season Show-Off Award. Sure we’re only one game deep, but when you’re 11 feet tall, you might as well call it early.

Jessica Price wins Female All-Star Award. It almost went to Cat but then we remembered Jessica actually did stuff instead of flounce around — including throwing elbows and overall field domination.

JT Helms wins the Best Intentions Award. When we suggested a company sport JT was ALL OVER IT. He’s probably never been more excited in his life. But no one mentioned the possibility of rain. He loves competition… but not in dark-rinse jeans.

Matt Cowen wins Most Unexpected Display of Normalcy Award. As the team coach (which was decided here, just now) mixing competition, beer and an unruly crowd of near teenagers you would expect funny and weird outbursts of gibberish and swearing. But Matt, you kept it together. Mazel tov!

So congratulations Punters, we didn’t totally suck! Better luck this week when we take on CBR at Churchill Park on Thursday, 8:00 PM sharp. Be there. Bring beer.

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Photos by http://thisgirlsylvia.com/

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Re: Movember

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And were calling on all of DK to get dark with that upper lip!

The premise is simple, start clean shaven on November 1st and throughout the month bust out the best cookie duster you can muster. If you already have face fuzz you can join in too, just keep that stubble kicking through the month. And for the ladies out there, we know that everyone secretly loves a lip tickler so you can support the men of DK by donating to the cause.

So stand up and march with Sgt. Floyd Pepper as we kick Men’s Cancer in the nards!
Let’s Gather donations and lets make the office a little creepier this month.

Read about it and join up
http://us.movember.com/register/154946
http://us.movemberfoundation.com/research-and-programs

Chris

 

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