Lacking skill and ambition, the Filthy Punts failed to deliver yet again. And as the season drags on, we’ve progressively gotten worse... or as we like to say, “careless and emotionally removed.”
Even though we still lack a W, there have been some notable developments in game strategy. Namely, trickery. Clearly our athletic skills are not superior, but we’ve discovered that in this league our brains are. This was realized when, in a stroke of genius, Adam started pitching painfully slow. Apparently the Achilles’ heel of every “real” kickball team is a ball traveling not so slow as to go unnoticed, but not so fast as to be a real threat. It threw everyone off and there were a lot of strikeouts and pop flies.
Then, Patrick decided to give them the ol’ Filthy Punts switch-a-roo. He asked Jessica to line up at home plate, but instead had Shawn come screaming out of nowhere and blast the ball right in their faces. This tactic resulted in a whopping 3 runs. And even though they already had 8, it felt good to know we could get by with shameless cheating.
After our defeat we gathered in the traditional Filthy Punts huddle, sang the Filthy Punts chant (have you heard it?), and had a serious discussion about which bar we should meet at. As you may have heard, tensions are high about the Filthy Punts not showing up at Nick’s Beergarden. Some teams say we’re snobs with impeccably designed t-shirts. Others think we’re antisocial nerds. It’s all true, but the drama has spread to the Filthy Punts’ Twitter account. YES, TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/FilthyPunts
So even though none of us really want to, we’re going to bite the bullet (and maybe some opponents) and head over to Nick’s after this week’s game. Won’t you join and help us teach those cyber-bullies a few lessons in proper social media etiquette?
Next game is this Thursday against Turbo Dogs, 6:30 p.m. at Eckhart Park.
